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I had a terrible mother. I didn't see her during the last 3 years of her life and didn't attend her funeral.

I had a terrible mother. I didn't see her during the last 3 years of her life and didn't attend her funeral.

 
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Well just don't forget that you are alive because she fed you at 3 in the morning and changed your diaper. Some people have problems. If you forgive her you will be a better person.
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I did not want to attend my father's. My mom made me. I am glad she did. Years later i forgave him when I matured enough to realize that he had a f***ed up life too.
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People don't judge!I find that people who didn't grow up with these "terrible" parents, don't understand what they can do to someone!
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This is so sad to me. I truly believe that most people do the best they can "with the info and knowledge" they have at THAT time.Do you think your Mother was capable of being a good mother ? Or did she just have a non loving spirit about her ? I am sorry that you had a bad experience and sorry that you didn't get any resolution before she died. Are you OK ? Sometimes, I think we just have to forgive ourselves. Good luck to you. Please try to surround yourself with people who accept you and care for you for who you are. AND you absolutely have the ability to grow into a far better person. If you are a parent, I bet you will not make the same mistakes your Mom did. Hang in there and best wishes to you. BE HAPPY.
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OP, if you need help with parenting, go to a college library and ask for the college textbook for Human Development. That is a wonderful book an=bout human behavior. I am sure you will find many answers to your problems and it will help you realize how your childhood shaped your adult life. It was the best class I took in all my college studies.
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I know how that feels only I help take care of my mother. I don't say the HORRIBLE things she said to us kids growing up because we know she's not the same person. We also know that the way she was raised was even worse than how we were raised. My kids are great with their kids and their kids will probably be excellent with their kids one day. This is how we learn. It's hard to forgive but I want to be forgiven so I always try to remember not to carry a grudge.
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I have 2 Aunts that grew up in the same situation as my mother and my husband's brothers grew up the same as he but he and both my Aunts grew up, learned from their mothers past mistakes and are wonderful people. ur past should not make you! I won't say I hate my mother because I would have to care about her in some way and I don't but I don't have anger nor does my husband. We have two great kids, wonderful jobs, great home and LOVE! People can change and some just choose not to!
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Oh, you're going straight to hell!
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I understand...nothing really more to say.
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Same thing with my father. It's been over 20 years and the only regret I have is that I never got to kick his ass.
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I loved my mom and I cried when she died but she had a very negative impact on me in a lot of ways when I was a child and teenager, and I still struggle with these issues as an adult.
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Let's face it...not everyone should be a parent...read, most people. You don't owe your parents a damn thing...since you never asked to be here. If you had (have) good parents...you were lucky. If not, try to leave all the bgaggage at the gate and live your life contrary to the negative influences you had...you will be a much better person. Again, the world is collapsing on all of the guilt, pain, altruism, foregiveness, etc. - live your life in kindness and endless wonder...but nothing says you have to forgive anyone. Quite the opposite...sublime ambivalence is the mantra when it comes to your less than deserving parents.
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You can pick your friends and your lovers and your pets and your house and your car, but you cannot pick your family!
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