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I like to call restaurants posing as a health inspector and tell them that they are due for a health inspection at the same time I plan on eating there.
Rating:   317 Ups   39 Downs  
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I tell people i dont want to get married or have kids, because i dont think i will ever find someone who wants to marry or have kids with me
Rating:   71 Ups   20 Downs  
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Somedays I wish I would've never married you. I blame your parents for everything you did to me, they never taught you morals. I want to beat morals into them.
Rating:   17 Ups   4 Downs  
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991 Views
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My wife thinks I quit smoking two years ago but I still smoke at work everyday. I brush my teeth and gargle Listerine before I go home. Weekends are murder.
Rating:   57 Ups   30 Downs  
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When my wife leaves the house I jerk off to any porn with redheads. My wife is a brunette.
Rating:   36 Ups   9 Downs  
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1540 Views
31 Comments
    
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